Evangeline Woods. Author. Freak Loser.

3 Places.

If you offered me a time machine with only three stops

I’d first take a trip to the 80s, there I’d find my mother in a bar 

She’d introduce me to her friends with her wide white smile, and I would make pleasant conversation where I ask her about her dreams

I would want to know what her vision for herself was before I even became even a twinkle in her eye. Who was she before she was my mom?

Did her smile always make her eyes crinkle in their corners?

Where did she want to travel? 

Who did she want to be?

I would shove down most of my questions because I know she loved to dance, and after our feet got sore 

I’d make sure that she got back to her apartment with her roommate

 The one I heard endless stories about but never met, with her heels in her hand and a wave goodbye

I’d then take my machine to 1999

I’d find my mother again in the little yellow house filled with babies and bottles and hand me downs.

She’d see me as an old friend she thought she had dreamed

I’d take the baby from her hip and usher my brothers outside, vowing to mop the mud off the floor that they track in with their shoes

I’d make sure she got a shower and I’d do her dishes as I kept an eye on the boys, stopping to rock myself and stare into my chubby face

Really try to look for the thing my mom has always talked about, the beauty that brings tears to her eyes 

After she’s well rested I’d remind her to always take time for herself

And leave with a promise that she would see me soon

With the last stop on my machine, I would head far into the future 

To find my daughter 

When she’s much older than she is now.

When I’ve been gone for years and she’d forgotten what my voice sounded like

I’d hold her hand as she prepared for the great sleep

Because when it’s my time to go, and everything I’ve done is over

My babies have grown, my husband is waiting for me in the beyond

I will want my mother, and I know that she will too.

-Evangeline Woods